Those inspirational quotes like “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “love knows no distance” might be true – but it doesn’t make you feel better when you’re at home on a Saturday night snuggling with your cat instead of your boyfriend.
Long distance relationships definitely have their downfalls – but just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it’s impossible. And I for one and TIRED of being so negative about it all. There are a lot of ‘benefits’ to a long distance relationship – even though it might not feel like it.
If you can survive the months apart – you can practically survive anything.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years – the time we’ve spent apart most likely adds up to 1 year. Knowing that we made it through that – nothing else scares us.
You get to really know each other.
Especially in the beginning, when close range couples jump the gun by having sex too soon or just kind of ‘floating’ through the beginning not really getting to know each other.
My boyfriend and I met in March 2011 and by the time we met face to face in December of that year – it felt like we had been dating for years. We knew things about each other that other couples wouldn’t have known because with the distance – talking is really one of the only things you can do.
For it to work – both people must be fully committed. You know where you stand. No games.
Which means you can trust them and there’s none of that “where is this going” shit. Because if you’re spending $1000 per flight every 6 months…you know if you’re serious about them or not.
For the 3 years my boyfriend and I have been together – I never once thought he would cheat on me. Because who goes through long distance with someone to be cheating on them with someone closer. It just wouldn’t make any sense. For it to work – you both need to be committed – from the beginning. Once you have that solid foundation, nothing can shake your trust in each other.
You can meet at halfway places. You can visit them. They can visit you. He lives in Europe and you live in America? Meet in England. You can literally have your dates anywhere in the world – because you’re going to be traveling to see them anyways. Why not spend the extra $200 and go somewhere neither of you has been. This also adds so much excitement and adventure to your relationship.
Independence within a relationship.
This is something I have always struggled with. I’m the type of gal that often submerged myself into a relationship, often losing sight of the things I liked and the things I wanted.
I become WE too soon and lose myself in the process most of the time.
This long distance forces me to have a life outside of my relationship which is really important.
My best advice to anyone in a long distance relationship is pretty simple…
In the beginning – you both need to figure out what you want and that you’re both willing to work on it. After this point – never doubt that. If someone is willing to spend months apart to get even 3 weeks with you – they love you. They are in it for the long haul and they want to make it work.
Throughout the relationship, you need to be willing to travel, spend money and be flexible. I know for me it was a scary concept because I was 20 and just learning how to budget my money. But everywhere I have been with/for my boyfriend has definitely been worth the cost. Especially with cheap flight deals (which I will write about later).
And lastly – enjoy your time. Whether it’s the time you’re away from them (but with your family and friends) or the time you’re with them. Enjoy every second of it, because long distance relationships are a roller coaster and ANYTHING is possible
Read some of my favorite books on long distance love and keeping the spark alive;
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