Normally when people miss a birthday, an anniversary or a special occasion; they are sorry. They say “I’m sorry I wasn’t there” or “I apologize for not being able to make it…” or even “it won’t happen again!”
I’ve missed so many things with you. You’ve had your heart broken, graduated college, or moved into a new apartment. You’ve been promoted, quit your job or found an awesome new hobby. I’ve missed the late night gossip sessions, the early morning breakfast dates and the girls’ nights out.
I know that I’ve missed out on things. A lot of things. And even (to my surprise), things that I didn’t really even think were things. Those day to day things that you would tell me over dinner that night, but wouldn’t really bother to mention during our weekly phone calls.
Over the last 3 years, I have been the friend who missed all those things to a lot of different people. Some people have left my life abruptly, and some have drifted away over time. Things get in the way, fights happen and people move in their different directions. It’s all normal, and even though sometimes it hurts, those friendships that end make me appreciate ours that much more.
Because you, you are my constant. That familiar thing in my ever-changing world. And as strange as it sounds, this isn’t an apology. I won’t say “I’m sorry” because, with you, I know I don’t need to. I know that you see how happy I am when I’m flying back to Belgium or catching the train to Paris. I know you understand me. I know you love me.
And I know you know I love you, even if it’s from another continent.
So, instead of saying “I’m sorry”, I want to say “thank you.”
Thank you for understanding that my heart might lead me to a different country, a different continent and/or a different time zone.
Thank you for being secure enough in our friendship to know that even if a few weeks pass with no communication between us, it changes nothing.
Thank you for not only understanding my lifestyle, but for supporting me in it.
Thank you for urging me to take that trip or buy those tickets, because you know my heart enough to know when I need to fly again.
You’re stable, I’m flighty and it works because you care enough to make it work.
This strange “non-apology” is written with so much love and fierce admiration, you better believe you mean the world to me, girl.
Sending love from wherever I am, to wherever you are;
Your Flighty Friend Forever.